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LIFESTYLE

How To Deal With An Unexpected Breakup

    Breakups suck. Especially when they’re unexpected, out-of-character and done via one measly little text. No conversation, no coherent reasoning, no nothing.

    You’re left wondering what happened. Where did it all go wrong? It felt like it was only yesterday that we were talking in future tense and exchanging ‘I love you’.

    And now this.

    The person you loved and who supposedly loved you for all these years is nothing but a stranger.

    Until two weeks ago, I never truly knew what heartbreak felt like. I can’t say I’m a fan. But I’m determined to take this pain and channel it into something useful, hence why you’re reading this. I may not understand what leads someone to do a Jekyll and Hyde, but I’ve learnt a lot of lessons along the way; lessons that might hopefully help one of you if you’re going through heartbreak.

     

    Succumb to the Emotional Rollercoaster //

    Myself and those around me never saw it coming. The last time I saw him was the weekend before the breakup; he had been staying with myself and my family for the weekend. That Sunday afternoon he didn’t want to leave, he kept turning around to give me another kiss goodbye. Who knew it would be goodbye forever.

    Sudden breakups, with no foresight, can be one of the most confusing things you can go through. Especially when prior to that moment, everything seemed perfect.

    For awhile you’re going to be in complete and utter shock.

    I said the phrase ‘I can’t believe this’ so many times it lost all meaning. I wondered where my best friend went and who this imposter was. How can someone change so much in one day? I couldn’t understand how someone can tell you how much they loved you one week and then act as if you don’t exist the next. I wondered if he had really loved me at all; surely if you love someone you won’t let them go so easily?

    So many questions. Yet, no answers.

    Then, scattered throughout the shock you get these unimaginably sharp pangs of sadness, anger, betrayal and disappointment – just to name a few.

    As much as I wish I could take all this pain away, it’s inevitable. I like to think of emotion as energy in motion. If you don’t let that energy flow, it’s just going to keep building until you explode. So, allow yourself to succumb to the emotional rollercoaster. We seem to live in a world where people view sadness as weakness and each time we start to expose our real emotion, we cover it up with an ‘I’m fine’. It’s ok not to be fine.

    It’s ok to be heartbroken.

    Cry out all the pain and frustration. Some days will be easier than others, but above all, remember that time heals everything. One day you won’t feel like this. But until then, you just have to work through the emotions and take it day by day.


    Finish reading at: http://www.chante-louise.com/how-to-deal-with-an-unexpected-breakup/ 

    xo

    Chanté 

    • Julia M Julia M : Love the tips, and science explanations!:) xx Julia
      4 years ago 
    • Kim L Kim L : Sorry you have to go through this and glad you are taking it as a learning lesson. Hang in there! It will get better.
      4 years ago 
    • Liz S Liz S : So sorry girl! You'll get through this! Thank you for your helpful words!
      4 years ago 
    • Tanvi R Tanvi R : Life is one lesson after the another. Great tips and attitude.
      4 years ago 
    • Kelly H Kelly H : Crying is one of the best things you can do to feel better about a breakup! Take time for yourself and indulge in things that make you happy as well.
      4 years ago 
    • Emily T Emily T : Heartbreaks are tough. And nothing anyone else says can truly help you through what you feel. But you are on the right track for sure in healing.
      4 years ago 
    • Melanie D Melanie D : I relate to this so much. Me and my daughters father unexpectedly broke up while I was planning our wedding and our daughter was only four months old. Its like it takes the rug right from out under your feet. But I know it gets better thankfully! x
      4 years ago 
    • Deirdre R Deirdre R : This is a good post. Breakups do suck and there’s so many different ways to cope.
      4 years ago 
    • Joss R Joss R : I know what you mean and how you feel maybe because we haven't breakout yet but like i feel hes waiting for me to tell him we are done. It's so hard to love someone because saying goodbye doesnt mean the feelings are gone =)
      4 years ago 
    • Brigette C Brigette C : Breakups are the worst! I found the best way to get over a breakup is too allow yourself to go through the pain and then focus on the positive!
      4 years ago 
    • Info A Info A : ugh, breakups... I completely feel you ! feelings are still feelings no matter what happens, and although a breakup is fast and quick, feelings linger for a long time...
      4 years ago 
    • Courtney B Courtney B : I know that its really hard to deal with breakups, it is the worst for teenage! You have to be focus on positive side!
      4 years ago 
    • Paola B Paola B : When men suddenly break up with you, 95% of the time, there is another source of interest catching their attention. Well, if he left you like this, better now than in 20 years time.
      4 years ago 
    • Shana B Shana B : It's always such an awful thing to go through. I promise that you WILL be ok, just give it time.
      4 years ago 
    • Indu I Indu I : Emotional post loaded with feelings. Everyone in life goes through some kind of emotional turmoil whether. But one comes out stronger with experience.
      4 years ago 
    • Cia B Cia B : Break ups , one of the most hardest things to deal with as a young girl. Although I don't think they are really unexpected, I've seen all mine coming way before they came and just enjoyed the relationship until it did end.
      4 years ago 
    • Ithfifi W Ithfifi W : Great advice! I don't think I've ever really dealt with this experience as I have been the one to walk away when it hasn't worked out or my partner wasn't so nice so I knew it was coming. That said, these things hurt none the less. I think your advice is golden
      4 years ago 
    • Kim L Kim L : Great tips! I don't think you are ever ready for this even if you know it's coming.
      4 years ago 
    • Ana V Ana V : Breakups are always hard to deal with! But it's a great way to learn from it and to grow and to work on yourself. The most important thing is that is OKAY to be sad.
      4 years ago 
    • Jillian B Jillian B : I hated going through a breakup, especially when I soon after realized I was being too loyal, and should have been the one to breakup with him instead of him going about it first!
      4 years ago 
    • Samantha S Samantha S : I'm sorry to hear this. Heartbreak is truly awful. You are so right, it's important to go on the emotional roller coaster and feel everything. It's great that you've already decided to channel your pain into something productive. Sending good vibes your way!
      4 years ago 
    • Tiffany Y Tiffany Y : Breakup sucks big time and mine took 3-4 years before I truly get over it. I hope you get a proper closure!
      4 years ago 
    • Nicole F Nicole F : Breakups suck!!! Heartbreak is one of the worst things to deal with. What helps me get over a breakup is focusing and working on my self because if you don't love or respect yourself, how are you going to expect someone else to!
      4 years ago 
    • Agnes V Agnes V : Breakups are the worst and I am sorry you are going through it. Its totally okay to be emotional about it and time heals all wounds.
      4 years ago 
    • Amy L Amy L : Those are such hard seasons when you go through emotional roller coasters. Best wishes to you and know you’ll move forward!
      4 years ago 
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