Good Morning All
Its Saturday Which means its the weekend..
I awoke from not much sleep but Ive worked out coffee in hand I’m ready to be creative and let my passion flow.
Ive been getting a lot of emails and messages lately honestly I love getting messages from you all asking me for my guidance regarding your situations it makes me feel like I know what I’m talking about & also I like being helpful to other people.
I received an email of a lady in the U.S.A she had previously come across my blog and wanted my advice after her relationship of thirteen years ended abruptly.
I’m going to be honest I could feel her pain whilst reading her email one line that will always stick with me is I’m lost I really don’t know how I will carry on.
I just wanted to give her a hug because when your in love with someone and the feelings are no longer there on the partners side its a terrible feeling.
You just don’t know what you could of possibly done wrong, was you the actual problem all along.
Lets go over what the actual meaning of blindsided in love .
Blindside in love happens when one person thinks that everything is smooth and perfect in the relationship and suddenly the other person announces that they want to opt out. Being blindsided can shatter a person as it is unexpected and came without a warning.
We don’t see the red flags because we are so in love with someone we put them on a pedestal, it doesn’t matter what that person does to us we just don’t see the bigger picture.
- Your Feelings Are Normal
When you fail to pick up any signs that your partner was unhappy in the relationship and then suddenly ends it, you are going to feel like you have been blindsided by a breakup.
It’s normal to feel total shock and disbelief that this is happening to you because you thought you were both happy.
You will torture yourself with endless questions wondering how did it all go wrong. All these feelings are normal and they will pass as you process this heart breaking event.
2. Don’t Blame Yourself
Aside from cheating or doing something equally as destructive in the relationship, you can’t take the full blame for being splitting up.
If your ex wasn’t happy, they should have spoken up and discussed the issues that were bothering them.
But some people feel it’s easier to walk away rather than work through the issues towards a better relationship. You might have just been unlucky enough to fall for one of these types.
3. Take Time For Yourself
Be kind to yourself as you process this breakup.
Your heart has taken quite a blow without warning and it’s going to feel as if your world has been flipped upside down.
Often, your self-esteem will take a steep nosedive because you are going to feel unloved and unwanted.
The best way to combat these negative feelings is to pamper yourself so you get mini boosts of happiness as you work your way through the emotional pain.
4. Be Happy With Other People
Keep misery to a minimum by hanging out with good friends that can give you a shoulder to cry on.
Do fun things that you enjoy to take your mind off the breakup.
It’s really easy to slip into depression when someone you love tells you that they don’t want to be with you.
Surround yourself with people who think positive and can cheer you up when you are hurting the most.
5. Don’t Waste Your Time Trying To Convince Them.
The last thing you should do is try to convince them that they have made a mistake. Although it may have come as a complete surprise to you, it’s highly likely they where thinking about exiting the relationship long before it happened.
They had gave it a lot of thought before they actually initiated the breakup.
At this point, they have had more time to process the painful emotions and has detached themselves from them.
6. Acceptance Wont Come Easy
Although it always takes some time to accept a breakup, this one is going to be particularly difficult because you weren’t expecting to lose them at all.
You will remember the most recent time that they said “I love you” and struggle with the idea that their feelings couldn’t have changed that quickly.
Worst of all is that you will expect them to come back to you, and many times they won’t. It’s best to think of that relationship as a chapter in your life that has come to an end unless they says otherwise.
7. Distract Yourself
Find distractions to keep your mind from drowning in memories of your old relationship.
After you have been through a blindsiding breakup, your mind is going to struggle and try to make sense of the whole situation, which will bring up many old memories.
Find things to distract yourself like find a new hobby, sign up for a class in something you have always wanted to learn or learn a new language. The goal is to distract yourself so you won’t constantly be tortured by thoughts of your ex.
The key is to work on yourself when you go through a situation like this not because you where the problem in the first place but because you deserve to be loved and understood being blindsided can really be a whirlwind process but you will get through it , it just takes time.
You will learn new things about yourself when your in a state of vulnerability but you must always remember not every relationship will be the same as your last so please don’t give up on love when the time is right you will know but for now take your time and get to know yourself.
Please don’t Hesitate to email me if you need my advice using contact box below .
I’m Sending you love.