LIFE UPDATE | FAILURES, SUCCESSES & NEW BEGINNINGS

Today I am writing an overdue "life update" post. I started this blog to share my life with you, whoever you may be: stranger, friend, or family because I move around a lot! And the dreamer in me also wanted to attempt to skew the internet as we know it.

The internet, specifically the social media part of it, is a crucial part of my life. Living internationally, it keeps me connected. But, on social media people only seem to share the good, the happy, and the exciting. That is not real, though. Sometimes we wake up in a funk, sometimes we have a rough day, sometimes we mess up, sometimes we outright fail.

I have experienced all of this and have let the pretty, fake, lives I see on social media affect me and make me feel ever more upset. When I really needed someone who could relate to my failures, I did not know who to reach out too, because no one shares them.

So, here is me being vulnerable. Today, I am sharing all of the crazy things that have been going on in my life recently. The good, the bad, and the ugly.

LIFE UPDATE 1: WORK

I recently finished up my internship at Hagerty. This internship was technically a requirement for college credit but ended up being a crucial period for self-development, keep reading and you will understand. As my internship is now over, so are the paychecks. I am a college student, trying to make it in life and it is a struggle. I would love nothing more than a steady income!

Almost 2 years ago I made a conscious choice to take care of my health. Along with regular exercise, I am mindful of what I eat and am aware of the state of my mental health as well. Staying in tune with my body has become a part of my lifestyle! And this is the very lifestyle I aim to share with you on this blog, rather than preach that the gym and calorie counting are the only way to stay healthy.

After beginning to share my life on Instagram, I was approached by the lovely Nadia, to consider becoming a Coach for Beachbody. If you are anything like me, you see 50 red flags immediately pop up.

Is it a pyramid scheme? Can I REALLY be successful with this? Can I do this without coming off as a salesperson? Am I going to like their products? Will I find people who want to work with me?

I have a bad habit of over thinking things. After a few weeks of speaking with Nadia, thinking, talking to Jonathan, thinking, talking to my mom, thinking, oh and more thinking, I caved. I am now officially a coach with Beachbody and I cannot wait to see where it takes me! Stay tuned to hear more about my WHY, why, I chose to become a coach after all that thinking! :)

I would love to have you, yes YOU, join this journey with me, please feel free to comment, email (lifewithlenamarie@gmail.com), DM, or Facebook message me (Life with Lena Marie). Check out this page where you can always reach out to me! I promise I will be a genuine leader, motivator, and coach.

LIFE UPDATE 2: COLLEGE

The big doozie of a subject is here... a.k.a. why I am so nervous to share this post.

Upon moving to Germany 3 and a half years ago, the initial goal was for me to become a college student. I was planning on being done with my bachelor's at 21, starting my masters, and getting on with life. God had a different plan.

Getting into school was not easy. The state of Germany that I live in has high expectations of their foreign college students, so it took longer than expected to "translate" my high school diploma. While working through that process, I worked at the Jack Wolfskin Store in Stuttgart. Finally, I was accepted to study International Business at a renowned, highly competitive business school in southwest Germany. In March 2015, I became a full-time college student.

I was ready to hit the pavement running. I scored my first internship at Hagerty Insurance, in Traverse City, Michigan for the summer. Hands-on experience and a summer at home with Jonathan were definitely going to benefit me.

The first semester did not go well. I blamed it on a long commute, lack of experience with such a course load, and the nerves of a new situation. I spent my summer at Hagerty and returned in the fall full of motivation. The second semester did not go well. After the second semester, I had a week off before my third semester. I spent this time on vacation with my parents. This vacation was plagued with regular bouts of me bawling my eyes out, extreme self-doubt, and the 99.9% definite decision that I was dropping out and moving back to Michigan to pursue my education and build a life with Jonathan.

My parents reeled me back in. We promised one another that we would get through this and decided to give the third semester a shot. I ate, I slept, and I studied. Exams rolled around the corner and they went ok. Except for one. I failed it... for the third time. This meant that I failed out of college.

I was a wreck. I hated myself for not having the brains and this quickly turned into me being hard on the way I looked, the way I acted, and the way I presented myself. My middle name might as well have been "failure" and when people said I wasn't, I said look at my transcript! It was right there, printed in black and white

This was the first time in my life that I truly failed.

I returned to Michigan and spent the last 8 months interning at Hagerty, once again. My team offered nothing but support as I struggled through my college issues. I gained confidence as I was allowed to work independently and presented top-notch work. But, in the background, the whole college thing was just a big question mark. What was I going to do?

During the summer, Jonathan and I talked about life, professions, and passions. Jonathan has a job that he truly loves. He said, "find a job that you love, and you won't work a day in your life." I had heard the quote before, but never took it to heart. Nothing I "loved" could be made into a career! Or could it... Social media kept popping to mind. I started a blog on a .wordpress.com domain and quickly fell in love with blogging, online media, and the connections I was making with total strangers thanks to the vast internet world.

After a lot of research and rejection from various German universities, I stumbled across the Hochschule der Medien Stuttgart (Stuttgart Media University), and their study program, Online Media Management. After finding out I was eligible to apply, even with an expulsion on my record, I, with the help of my parents, put together my application. Late January (I hinted at it in this post...) I got the news, I got in! I was SO shocked. And happy. Everyone who had seen me through this struggle was so happy for me.

As my time in Michigan came to a close, my excitement grew. Surely, I wish things had gone differently at my prior university, but everything happens for a reason. When my dad texted me and said that he thinks I grew up a lot in the last 8 months, I knew I was back on track and everything would be ok.

I grew up, I learned, I improved, and I moved on. I purged everything associated with my prior school. Rarely, do I waste a breath talking about my utter disappointment in the school and their lack of support for struggling students. I am ready for a new adventure and I cannot WAIT to share this journey with you! Only a few more weeks until my time at the Hochschule der Medien starts!

LIFE UPDATE 3: FUTURE PLANS - RELATIONSHIP, TRAVELING, BLOGGING...

RELATIONSHIP

Throughout the last 4 years, Jonathan and I have been long-distance A LOT! Although it stinks, we are going to continue this while I finish school. I do plan on seeing his handsome face soon, though! I hope to make a trip to Michigan in August. We are also thinking ahead to Christmas too! Long-distance is by no means ideal, but we will get through this and it will be totally worth it.

TRAVELING

I have the travel bug. Bad. I have a few semi-concrete plans for this year. Michigan is one for August. While I clearly have been there before, I may be bringing a friend which would mean some touring around and seeing places I have not yet. In October I am planning to meet up with my aunt and uncle when they are in Italy. And one way or another, I want to make it to the UK this year!

BLOGGING

As of next week, I plan on posting on Tuesday and Thursdays, along with my week in summary posts, Sundays. I will gladly take any post recommendations you may have and start working away at them! Otherwise, I will continue to try and teach myself the necessary knowledge to make this a high-quality site for you to WANT to visit, that includes imagery, ease of navigation and aesthetics! Please, do not hesitate to share your feedback with me, I would love to hear your thoughts :)

If you made it to the end, high five! I know this was a long one. If you ever find yourself in a situation where you need support, help, or an open ear, reach out to me! I know I felt like such a burden complaining to my family all of the time and it would have been great to have someone who understood.

How do you get over rough spots in your life?

With love,

Lena Marie