Omg, you're so skinny

Yes, I’m a lucky bastard. I’m blessed with a metabolism that outraces every formula 1 driver. My favourite type of breakfast is spaghetti with loads of garlic, olive oil and onion. I love carbs, if I eat a simple bowl of soymilk with fruit I’m hungry again in 30 minutes.
and I’m a diva when I’m hungry.

As a kid I ate throughout the whole day, but only tiny bits. My mother must have had a lot patience with me when I asked her yet again for a sandwich while I was already in bed. But no matter what my parents fed me, I was a skeleton, all those carbs and fat just dissapeared, as if there’s a black hole inside of me.

Only fat kids are being bullied.
If you look slightly different kids have a reason to bully you. My nickname use to be “Slankie”!
(Means slim). I hated that word and I hated the kids who used it. But Karma is a bitch and I love that “offensive” nickname now and I wonder if those kids will ever use that word again.

The first time I heard about anorexia was at the age of 9. I was at school when a kid came to me and said that I had anorexia. I didn’t knew the meaning and smiled “ok”. I still wonder how this kid came up with this term. Did the parents said it?

Food allergies didn’t change a thing
At high school my mother gave me everything that screamed “stuff that makes people gain weight”. Still nothing. Even when they discovered I shouldn’t eat any dairy, sugar or wheat containing products. Besides the fact that my skin became so much better my body remained the same.

Even when I was a model I had to diet.
My upper body has always been perfect in the modeling world.. just my hips were slightly too “feminine”. The average dutch girl has a Germanic physique. Tall and with pretty curves. Something the fashion industry doesn’t accept. While balancing around the maximum hipsize of 90 they decided to put me on a tredmill and with a diet. The fitness part was great! Just the diet had a funny effect on me. The more I thought: okay I shouldn’t eat this or that, the more my head screamed: eat, eat, eat. This caused a disturbed sense of what should be eaten or not and when or where. After 1 year I decided to cut this crap, as it made me unhappy and after a while my head became quiet again and I got the “perfect” measurements without doing anything!

Being skinny makes you popular.
As I scroll through lookbook and Instagram i’m amazed how extremely skinny girls are being followed and loved by thousand and thousand of teenagers. In the modeling industry you get this extra “sense” about girls who are natural skinny and those who go through great lengths. And these girls have taken it into an extreme, getting cheered and encouraged to continue their unhealthy lifestyle.

Skinny= pretty= confidence in bikini.
None of my guyfriends like the skinny modeling girls. They prefer girls with more curves which already argues the skinny = pretty statement.
Perhaps I fit along side the LA girls on the beach. But here in the east side of the Netherlands I can feel uncomfortable with my skinny body in a bikini. Just like my beautiful friends think they look chubby. In the end it has nothing to do with your body type but with your confidence.