What is confidence for you? For me, it is the voice of my courage, that reminds me every night before going to bed that, "you can't give up so easily!" I was not born confident, and it took me 35 plus years to stand up and face the world confidently. If you could relate to any of this, come along and read further to know how [always] a shy girl found her confidence.
I always wondered, "how do these stunning women I see and read about everywhere, carry themselves so confidently? How does it feel to be fearlessly confident?" I had so many such similar questions in my mind when I learned about a very important quality about myself- being a quiet person, and shutting myself off from the world. I noticed that I always had trouble expressing myself, and or sharing my thoughts, opinions, and my emotions. I felt powerless, but safe in my own company, and that's when I decided to always stay like that until I turned towards blogging and writing, and started expressing my life in bits and parts.
There are so many myths about 'being confident,' and I want to debunk all that in my post right here! I don't want you to fall into those defined traps of a confident woman. Can I share a secret with you? We all have that confidence factor within us right from our birth. Some grow up with it, while others fall behind in recognizing that skill within them. I was in the later category.
It's time to let go those myths that's holding you back, and to start knowing more about yourself on a deeper level. Dissecting your core self can help you find back your power and confidence. Here's how I find mine! First by not paying attention to these definitions of a confident you.
Common Myths About Being Confident:
- You're born confident. Really? - I don't believe this statement is correct at all! Confidence is a quality that you develop as you go through life, and as you face different situations, and when you walk the unknow and put yourself in alien environments. When I look back today to understand my 'confidence journey', I understand that different challenges and new environments helped me shape my confident-self. I'm able to write this today, because I have had taken the risk of doing things that I always wanted to do. I confronted difficult situations, encountered too many failures, and pushed my boundaries to go beyond my "defined limit."
A More Acceptable Mindset-:
If you really want to see yourself standing tall and confident, go for new "projects" in your life, that you most love doing. Take risks, Feel the fear, walk alone, learn, explore, fail, rise up again, and keep moving further until you [turn best at what you're doing] do your dream, and achieve your goal.
- Confident people are always confident and are "know-it-alls" - Wrong. Many people believe that confident people are never afraid of any challenges, as they are smart and have answers to everything. Ideally, the conventional definition of a confident person is, "someone who is an extrovert, little pushy, and very dominant." So do you still think, these are ideal characteristics of a confident one?
Confidence isn't necessarily always loud, and showy. Always being an introvert by nature, I know how confidence can be developed just by working hard silently, and by believing in oneself, and your values. Whether you prefer being quiet, caring, and modest, or dominant, and loud, you can still feel confident either ways. Just don't stop believing in your "powers," that makes you unique.
A More Acceptable Mindset-:
You can still lead as a confident leader, just by being open to learning new things, and improving each day. Your attitude grows from infinite experiences when you take risks, fail in your attempts, get knocked down or pushed down below, but you still manage to rise up again. Confidence becomes a healthy attitude, when you're being kind and respectful to yourself and others while keeping your heart stronger.
- Confident people are successful people and therefore work in big multinational companies. So not true! In fact your attitude decides how successful you want be, because you must believe it to achieve it! In fact your inner confidence is the first step that prepares you to move towards your goals.
Ask any successful people, and they will tell you that, the only reason they could move forward and higher in their life is because they took risks, they knew that they might fail, but were also confident that they will work hard to make it in in their dream company/or at least in one of the best companies, or to build their dream multinational company.
A More Acceptable Mindset-:
Confidence prepares you to take that leap of faith only to do your dream and or to land up in your favorite job. To build your self-confidence, think of the things you're good at, and look at what you've achieved, and you will be all ready to move towards achieving your goals, and becoming successful.
- If you are soft and kind, you are not a confident person. No way!. Confidence has nothing to do with how soft or loud you're by nature! Time to break this conventional myth that, "loud is confident!" Do you know this is also true that, "people who are loud outside are insecure inside and therefore they also have a low self-esteem." I never wanted to lean my trust on being confident by being bossy or dominant or loud.
I'm a living proof that even a shy and an introvert person like me can still radiate confidence. People always expected me to be loud to be seen and accepted, but that never resonated with me. Confidence need not have to be assertive or dominant, it can also be quiet and humble. And this is the attitude that help us stay calm and grounded even in difficult situations.
"Quiet is the new loud." ~Patrick Stump
'Always be yourself and have faith in yourself. Do not go out and look for a successful personality and try to duplicate it." ~Bruce Lee
A More Acceptable Mindset-: Quiet confidence attitude is all about being quiet but curious, and showing eagerness to learning new things, and growing towards life's infinite possibilities.
Confident people never fake their confidence. So very untrue! A long-lasting confidence attitude requires years of practice and patience, and this is definitely NOT easy. So it is acceptable that even the most confident person in the room can face the burn of failures and challenges. But what makes them different from others is that, even if they fake it, their boundless belief in themselves somehow convinces everyone that they are confident.
So STOP thinking you're not good enough, and don't pull yourself out of the challenge. Just keep moving forward will grace and gratitude, and you will find your confidence, and you will reach your goals, and you will be successful.
A More Acceptable Mindset-: Sometimes doing things what you are awesome at, can help you in creating that confidence aura for yourself. Next time you're with your friends or colleagues, you can pull yourself together and throw a little confidence act about the activities you're good at. Remind yourself that you're a stellar at a particular or few tasks, that you love doing everyday. It gets easy to explain it to others and to share the details about the subject you're good at! So go for that "confidence show" until you are convinced that you are 100 percent a confident woman or a man.
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