Tried It, Hated It!

    Cummunication 101 #10

    Ok, so you will often hear me say “try something new”. Spice it up! Adding new things is a great way to keep sex fresh. Adding something new to your sexual repertoire can also be very exciting! So what did I try recently that I hated? I will get to that in a moment.

    A while ago and I do mean a while, over 20 years actually, I bought my first car, a #FiatPanda for $300.00 in Germany. Oh man, I loved this car! It had no interior cloth on the metal, so I collaged every bit of the roof. It was really awesome. Yes, I like to #collage! Not the point. The car eventually broke down and was vandalized. I was sad. Fast forward to 2011 when Fiat was relaunched in the US. I wanted one so badly, I didn’t even want to test drive it. I just KNEW I would love it! Hubby talked me into test driving it and guess what, it turns out the new and improved Fiat was not for me. What am I saying here? Being willing to try new things does not mean you have to adopt every new thing you try. With some #cummunication it can be a very fun experience between you and your lover.

    So what did I try recently… the #reveresecowgirl 2.0. HATED IT! You may remember, I mentioned this position in an earlier blog ‘A Quick Note on Quickies’ https://www.sexuallymindful.com/post/a-quick-note-on-quickies.

    I was excited to try this after learning about it while researching for my blog. I was also a tad bit nervous. A few weeks ago Johne and I mimicked the movements fully clothed and nowhere near aroused. This helped with any body issues and awkwardness although there was some awkwardness, we were able to laugh through it. Recently, we were were hot and heavy I threw it in the mix. Johne really dug the view but turns out this position like the Fiat is not for me. however, this did not ruin our groove; #mindfulness, I just let JohnE know and we switched it up a bit and we #pressedon.

    The whole point is this… how do you know if you are going to like something or not until you try it? I seriously hear my great grandmother talking to me right now….I was and still am a very picky eater. Also, do not just assume you will like/love something based on an idea or something you heard before trying it out. That can bring a whole lot of disappointment.

    Maybe you tried something and it just didn’t work out that time for you both to know whether it works or not i.e. the kids interrupted, one of you laughed, farted, queefed (cause yes, farts and queefs happen sometimes during real life sex) or maybe a certain area became badly chaffed (OUCH!). The hope here is that you both can work past those things and try again, if it is something that one or both of you really wants to try. The important thing is talk with your spouse/significant other (SO) about what you want to try or try again and how you both feel about it.

    Yoga is wonderful for flexibility (tons of yoga apps and #YouTube videos available) that can help get you started on a flexibility path. If you have pain, do not do anything that may increase your pain. If you can, find a position that works and I am betting you can (if you need some help with new positions due to pain, please book a session with me now at www.sexuallymindful.com).

    SIDE NOTE: #Orgasms release #oxytocin which is a natural pain reliever.

    If you are planning on introducing toys or new toys, first and foremost talk with your spouse/SO about it, shop together, and make sure the toys are body safe.

    If you want to introduce #roleplaying, again #cummunicate! Discuss different themes, scenarios, or past experiences you may want to explore sexually. Role playing is much more than just a pizza delivery guy or a being dressed up as a nurse (although those can work too). Whatever you decide upon, be committed to that role and also have an agreed upon ‘safe’ word in case it becomes too much (emotionally, physically or mentally) for any participant.

    Maybe it’s just some butt play you want to try or maybe you want to try something extra kinky, whatever it is #cummunication is #1.

    Trying new sexual things doesn’t have to be scary or intimidating and it DOES NOT mean you are bound to do it for eternity. Trying new things reinforces your willingness to please yourself and your spouse/SO. When you are ready, try the new #positions, #toys, #lingerie, #kink, etc. in a non-threatening way similar to what we did (weeks before and fully clothed). Don’t knock it til you try it.

    For me though, I’ll stick with the original #cowgirl. C-U next time.

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