Botox, Balls and BJs, Oh My!

Cummunication 101 #8

Oh my is right! What does #Botox have to do with #sex? Well nothing really. But I want to share something with you all. This one is much more of a health check blog than sex blog but what the hay!

I got my 2nd round Botox injections today and guess what? I can still smile! Nope it is not the BOTOX you are thinking of.

Almost 23 years ago in October, my world, universe, life and #bladder changed FOREVER. I was a #mom, mother, mama, of a very teensy weensy tiny boy. Although this boy was not so tiny…8.5 lbs, 21 inches long and almost two weeks late, I still remember feeling my hips move apart as he entered the world. He also managed to dislodge my bladder (I did not know this until five years later). I was almost 22 years old (the same age as my aforementioned darling baby boy is today).

Cue in 2000, almost 25 years old and I start to drizzle a bit on myself during Physical Training (PT; I am retired USAF, remember?). I start drizzling on myself if I coughed too much or sneezed…No Good for anyone, let alone a 24 year old single mother. I went to several military doctors and Physicians Assistants (PA) and they all said I drink too much liquids and to do my *Kegels*. This theory could have been possible (those who know me know me as a Diet Pop junkie). However, my daily intake had not changed. I have since quit the sauce, sweet nectar of life, lol. Any-who, moving on.

*Kegels* are very important and everyone should do them daily! In my case however, I did enough Kegels and still do enough, that I can snap my hubby's neck with a kegel but it ain't keeping the pee in!

Cue in 2002, I am 26 years old, engaged to my now husband and I get a cold (lots of coughing) and full on pee myself during PT; not a drizzle or sprinkle, full on wet my pants during a jumping jack… luckily for me I always wore black leggings under my PT shorts, so I excused myself and went in the bathroom tried to clean myself up and bawling. I went back to the doctor and this time I asked for a referral to a specialist.

They sent me to an off-base gynecologist (Gyno). I was like "Okay? What is he/she going to do?"…whelp…a lot! He was the first to diagnose me with #cystocele or fallen bladder from 5 years earlier. He examined me, had me bear down and I was out of there in less than 25 minutes! He said I was a 2 out of a 3…..meaning my bladder was basically falling out of me. SCARY THOUGHT! He asked if I was done having kids. I explained we were newlyweds and wanted to have a baby. He said come see me when you are done. Read more about fallen bladder at: https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/15468-cystocele-fallen-bladder

Circa March 2004, our youngest was born November 2003 (Johne was deployed until March 2004). I go back to see the Gyno and he says he wants a Urologist to assist in the surgery...(makes sense, right?).

So in June 2004 I had a cystocele repair (they re-tacked my bladder back into place) and tubal ligation at the same time. I was told the cystocele procedure would fail in ~10-12 years. Yeah me!

Circa April 2012, for a few years now I am having really bad periods, intense pain, soaking through SUPER PLUS tampons in an hour (told repeatedly by doctors, it's just my age, hormones etc.) and started peeing on myself again. Go to base clinic, see a Gyno PA, and she tells me all these bad periods and pain was cysts on my ovaries, popping… HELLO!

AND that my human papilloma virus (HPV; from 1998) was gone and usually clears up on it's own!!!! Read more on #HPV at: https://www.self.com/story/does-hpv-go-away

MIND BLOWN...Things I was never taught or told before. She also wanted to do a vaginal ultrasound. Ever have one? They stick a long a skinny dildo looking thing in your #hooha. She found a small but large for my uterus tumor. It was benign, but it was wreaking havoc on my cycle and causing the bizarro bleeding.

Needless to say we are in 2020 now. I have had two bladder related surgeries so far. I never really stopped drizzling on myself. I finally came across a female Uro/Gyn (best thing that ever happened) at the VA. She put me on meds (Oxybutynin) and it worked some. However, I was on it for a year and still drizzling. Read more about medications for over-activity of the bladder at: https://www.healthline.com/health/overactive-bladder/medications-for-overactive-bladder

Then came the pelvic floor electrotherapy. This was me going and having an electric bulb (well it looked more like a magic bullet) put in my vagina up by my ovaries that pulsated (and you may be thinking OOOOOOHHHHHHH Bet that felt good) but it didn’t feel good or bad, just annoying like getting a tattoo. I did that for six weeks and it worked, but sadly, I still drizzled. Read more about #pelvicfloorelectrotherapy at: https://www.desmitmedical.com/can-electrical-stimulation-help-pelvic-floor-muscles/

Then came Percutaneous Tibial Nerve Stimulation (PTNS). This was every week for 12 weeks and then once a month and I did this for about two years, it worked okay, but I still had bouts of drizzling. Read more about PTNS at: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5565382/

I saw a new Uro/Gyn in September 2019 who suggested I might be a good candidate for

Botox injections. Yes, Botox injections in my bladder. Botox is used to paralyze the bladder so it does not spasm as much. I had my first treatment in Oct 2019 and I had my second one today… It worked better. I did have some discomfort in the first few weeks after the first procedure. I thought I had a urinary tract infection (but it was my bladder just kind of freaking out a bit). So far 10 months later and I just (within the last few weeks) noticed I was drizzling/leaking again…not bad. Read more about Botox Injections in bladder at: https://www.mayoclinichealthsystem.org/hometown-health/speaking-of-health/how-do-bladder-botox-injections-work

So that was a really long way to get here… but wanted to share some health tips too. So when this happened I put myself out of commission sexually for fear of whatever was going on in there where my bladder is. So why the 'Balls'? #Balls can be very intimidating for women, while men seem to jostle them freely '#allwillynilly' most of the time. Sometimes we just don’t know what to do with them so we just kind of pretend they aren't there. So what? Don't! Get to know your mans SACK. It can add pleasure. However this is not just about pleasure...you guessed another health check. In 1997 my now hubby was diagnosed with #TesticularCancer. Now, I did not know him at the time, but me thinks if I had, I would have caught it a lot sooner. You know how man DO NOT LIKE GOING TO THE DOCTOR, right? He lost his left ball. He only cums 1/2 the time and sometimes shoots from what I affectionately dubbed the #phatomnut. As a matter of fact, the first time I went down on him, I thought he was #faking. He was not. Read more about testicular cancer at: https://www.cancer.org/cancer/testicular-cancer/about/what-is-testicular-cancer.html

This was all a precursor to #BJs. I love them. I love going down on my man. It turns me on to turn him on. At times like today and for a few days after when I do NOT want JohnE anywhere near my lady bits (cause I feel wonky from #Valium and my bladder is a bit squirrely as well)…BJs are awesome alternatives.

Some Quick BJ tips:

•  The wetter the better, so get some edible #lubes to try.
•  Enthusiasm is key…He will enjoy it so much more knowing you are enjoying it too

- Make eye contact if you can

- Use your hand(s)

- Get the whole area involved (shaft, head, balls, taint and ass) refer back to 'balls are often neglected' comment above.

I wrote all this to stress how completely and utterly important is for you to take your health into your own hands and talk to your medical providers about everything. I do not care how wacky you may think it is. Mine was a long and probably unnecessary journey, however, I left my health up to the professionals. Even the #assclowns who misdiagnosed me were trying to help in some way. Was the BJ addition necessary?...absolutely! In my opinion, they are always necessary, to get things started, to keep things progressing or to FINISH. If you are not a fan, try something different from above and you may just enjoy it too!

C-U next time.