So I was going to write about motivation and how when you’re feeling unproductive you should look on the bright side, let yourself rest, regenerate and get back at life with your arms swinging and head bopping. Give you guys some tips on how you can kick life in the butt and tell it to “suck it and watch me go”…
But you see, the last week or so, I have felt so cripplingly unmotivated that even scrolling through social media feels like a chore.
So I think that writing a post about motivation would have been pretty hypocritical of me in this moment in time, don’t you agree?
There’s plenty of blog posts out there that can give you tips and advice on how to get over a hump; inclunding yours truly, “Let’s talk about the shitty days…“, so if you are seeking advice you can check them out.
And although, I’m fully aware that everyone is trying to stay positive and only post the good and the happy moments (making you feel even more annoyed about not being able to get your sh*t together), for this post I decided to just cut the crap and basically have a bit of a rant. And I don’t know who needs to hear this but I’m sure I’m not alone…
There is an important point to this at the end, I promise – just bare with.
So as I’m writing this I am currently sat eating Nutella out of the jar (yeah… it’s been that kinda week), and to be completely honest with you guys, this is the least motivated I have felt in a long time. In fact, I think I can genuinely say that this week I have burned out and lost the plot.
See at the beginning of lockdown, I was so afraid of being sat at home bored, and loosing my mind due to not having anything to do, I have done exactly that but the opposite. Lost? Hold up… I’ll explain. You see I was really determined to be super proactive with my time and use it well, to the point where I have overwhelmed myself so much, I have… in fact… lost my mind…
Was anyone else the type of kid (/adult – I still do this), that would literally rather carry 15 shopping bags, a crate of oranges on your head and a bottle of milk between your teeth all at once, because God forbid you had to take more than one trip? Yeah.. don’t lie. I know you did.
Well did you ever notice, that crushed under all that weight you were trying to drag from the car, to even just the front door, it actually took longer, as with every step you almost toppled over. And why? Because you wanted to prove that you could do it? That you were the great hulk? Well did it ever cross your mind, that if you took less you could probably sprint to the kitchen and back with great ease and have all the shopping unloaded in light speed in comparison? Yeah… didn’t think so.
Well, coming back to my story and for those thinking, “just spit it out already”.. after about 3 meltdowns in 2 days, this morning I decided to write a list of all the things I took on (and thought I could manage – because why not?), at the beginning of lockdown with the intension of completing/ continuing through it’s entirety:
- I have enrolled onto 5 different courses.
- Started a whole new blog from scratch (including accompanying social media accounts)
- I started a wellness and fitness account – committing to daily content and editing
- Weekly seminars and webinars – because you know CPD is important…
- Daily pilates and strength and conditioning classes (on top of my own training sessions)
- Daily 5k’s (walking or running – I don’t really care as long as I do it)
- Just to name a few…
Oh yeah… and have I mentioned that I’m still a full time uni student, trying to complete the year?
So with all this, I have certainly forgotten (and I know I’m not the only one), that I am, in fact… a human. A mortal. We don’t have superpowers. We’re not invincible, although we might wish we are and believed so when we were younger.
Now I’m not saying don’t shoot for the stars, because if you know me, you know I’m all about dreaming big and aiming higher.
However, the past two days I have had the worse back pain I have had in months (due to stress – and I was in a car crash at the beginning of the year, where my back spasmed, and had slipped discs. So yeah, I’ve been dealing with a lot of back pain lately), I have binged eaten everything in my sight and well… I have been walking around the house not able to concentrate and commit to a single task, contemplating quitting uni, as the simple sight of my coursework has been making me wanna cry (and on several occasions.. it did). And yes.. I know I’m overreacting. But this is what happens when you overwhelm yourself – YOU DON’T THINK STRAIGHT.
What I’m trying to say is.. overloading yourself, is just as bad as doing nothing at all. In fact, I think it might be worse.
Learn to rest! Learn to prioritise!
I am definitely trying to learn my limits and understand that trying to do everything all at once, is not going to make it all happen faster – it’ll actually only slow you down in the long run. As every time you burn yourself out, it’ll take you twice as long to get your sh*t back together and get back on track.
Let this be a life lesson for you and a warning.. sometimes doing less, isn’t a bad thing, sometimes doing less pays off – your body will thank you for it, your mind will thank you for it, your health and future you will thank you.
Be considerate! Don’t try and be a hero. Take a break – you deserve it.