At some point in life, there will be an event that you would LOVE to go to, but the only problem is that none of your friends want to go, or none of your friends are available to go with you. This is most frequently with films, concerts, or if you’re a theatre buff like me you want to go see the new hottest play/musical that’s hit the West End. But as I just said, you don’t have someone to go with you for one reason or another. What do you do? Do you search far and wide to find someone to go with? Do you just forget about whatever it is you wanted to go to and accept defeat?
Lets face it, you probably just accept defeat and wait till the next time.
But you shouldn’t have to! This is the PERFECT opportunity to take yourself on a well needed date! It does seem strange to begin with when you get started with this, but as the time goes by you realise that you might actually like going to events on your own MORE than with your friends!
Ok, maybe not to such a degree that you no longer go to events with friends, because that will just isolate you from your friends… but there are definitely moments where you should take yourself on a date. And while it does feel weird and pathetic to attend events by your lonesome, the more you do it, the less you care. There is that moment you realise that you need to do some things on your own and when you have that moment you think to yourself “why was I feeling self conscious?” because you notice how much more you can do and experience by going to events on your own.
Quick story time! I was sitting in a cafe having a coffee with a friend last year where he introduced to me this amazing concept of ‘masterdating’. Yes, masterdating. As you can well imagine, I giggled and had to ask him to repeat himself because I thought he said something COMPLETELY DIFFERENT as anyone would! So after he described to me the process of masterdating; the act where you go to an event or location by yourself without the intention of meeting someone, I was hooked on the idea. Although I don’t say the word ‘masterdate’ a huge amount (you should have seen the funny looks my friend and I received having that coffee) I do try to take the time to masterdate, aka take myself on a date, at least once a month.
Pretty much anywhere. I have attended at least 5 concerts by myself and loved every minute. I have been able to get right to the front of the crowd before because I have managed to weasel myself forward. YOU CAN’T ALWAYS DO THAT IF YOU HAVE ANOTHER PERSON! Ideally, a situation where you don’t exactly need to speak to another person makes for an ideal masterdate, because you can just enjoy the event and not risk the chance of feeling lonely at any point. But if you like to sit somewhere by yourself, a park is a great location (especially in the summer) or even go to a cafe and do some people watching. If you can think of a location where you can safely go by yourself, then that is a place you can go for a masterdate.
I like to masterdate when I am feeling lonely. That’s a little sad to say but it’s true. I find I need a lot of human interaction but at the same time I don’t always WANT to be sociable with people. So with that, when I find I have nothing to do one evening but I still want to be out the house, I go to the internet and find a film or event happening in the area that I would be interested in and I just go. There is this wonderful free feeling of being able to just throw on a coat and go out in a sudden instant. It doesn’t even need to be for a long period of time, on countless occasions I took myself to a cafe with a book or just my headphones and listened to music whilst drinking coffee.
Let me tell you, it was FANTASTIC!
And let me just clarify, you DO NOT need to be sad to be able to do this activity. Perhaps you want to go for a coffee and fancy doing some people-watching? Or you just want to do something to occupy your time. You can genuinely do this activity AT ANY POINT (obvs don’t go while you’re meant to be working…)
Why not? That is the question here. Why would you not want to spend time just by yourself but doing something at the same time? Of course that is not to say sitting at home on your own is bad, because it isn’t. But there are times where you feel like you’ve seen the same walls within your house and you JUST NEED to get out, but have been clueless of what to do. Masterdate. Take yourself on a date. Embrace that self love malarkey everyone is always talking about. Taking the time to take yourself on a date is the perfect way to work on loving yourself, because you can do WHATEVER YOU WANT and not need to worry about what ANYONE ELSE THINKS!
You have the control. You have the power.
What kinds of events would you take yourself on a date to? I’ve listed a couple of examples above, now I want to hear yours! Let me know in the comments :)
Until next time,