Bad Kiss = Bad Sex? Kissing 101
Missed your workout routine today? Try kissing someone instead! Kissing is a great form of mini exercise that allows you to burns 2 to 26 calories per minute, depending on the intensity. Aside from that, a single kiss can give you a sign if this person is the one! According to an article from CNN, kissing is a barometer for sexual compatibility. If you are feeling nonchalant after your first few kisses with someone, both of you might not be that compatible sexually.
Bad Kiss = Bad Sex?
I have my shares of bad kissers. From the helicopter tongue to the one that tries to eat your face, bad kissers are often a sign of bad chemistry. It not only leaves a foul taste in your mouth but it might even leave some blood too. However, does bad kissing leads to bad sex? Most of the time it does for bad kissing means that you do not have enough chemistry with the person. Your body is rejecting them although your heart is still in it to win it. On the other hand, sometimes bad kissers are only bad because they do not have enough experience or they are nervous. Those people are still salvageable. Before we judge others, we need to check in with ourselves first. Are we the bad kisser?
How to tell if you are a bad kisser?
- You have bad breath
Has anyone stepped back or make a face when you talk? Do you find something stinks when you open your mouth but you are not sure what? Try checking your breath, that might be the reason why all these things are happening to you. Pop a mint or drink some water to get rid of instant bad breaths.
2. You open your eyes while you kiss
Do you know what it feels like to be curious and slowly gaze up when you’re kissing to find a pair of eyes fully open, barely an inch away from you? It was scary and unforgettable. Close your eyes or at least lower your gaze when you kiss. You can be curious once and gaze up occasionally but do not kiss with your eyes fully open for the sake of your partner’s heart.
3. You bite them
Repeat after me, “My partner is not my food.” You do not need to chew on their lips when they kiss. If you see blood, you are doing too much. Nibbling is accepted however, full-on chomping is not.
4. You knock your teeth into theirs
Firstly, this point is commonly associated with people that have crooked teeth or bucked teeth. I am here to debunk it. Having crooked teeth or bucked teeth does not automatically make you a bad kisser. Having bad kissing habits make you a bad kisser. Do not let anyone tell you otherwise.
A guy tried to tell me that because of my bucked teeth, I was a bad kisser. That I was kissing him wrong when he was opening his mouth to the size of an elephant trying to eat my face. Eventually, his teeth cut my lip and we saw red. Fortunately, I had other experiences before to know that he was trying to avoid humiliation. It was not personal. I could see how others would feel embarrassed and not want to experiment with kissing after this remark and that is not right. Embrace your teeth, know what makes a bad and a good kisser and do not let bad kissers blame you for their wrongdoings.
Secondly, the reason your teeth are knocking into theirs is that you are not tilting your head enough. You are also not accustomed to how this person kiss.
5. You suck their face
I am all for exotic kissing methods, but if you find a huge discoloured bruise on your partner’s face after you lock lips with them, that means that you’re sucking too hard. Try to release the pressure and not stay at an area for too long. After all, you’re not trying to get the pearls out of this bubble tea.
6. You hold your breath
Do you feel like you’re underwater when you’re kissing someone? Maybe it’s because you’re holding your breath. This is a common mistake many people make when kissing. We don’t want to breathe into another person’s face especially when we’re that close thus, we hold our breaths. That lead to us not being able to have longer make-out sessions or having to gasp for air like a tortoise after some time. Here’s an advice, remain calm and breathe normally. Focus your attention on something else like how you want to move your hands or what are their tongues and mouth doing and before you know it, you’re breathing normally again.
Bad kissing is an early sign of bad chemistry for kissing involves lots of subtle body languages and open communication. Think about it, you are about to enter someone else’s mouth, it is a very intimate action. Does that mean that it is a lost cause for those that kiss badly? Nope, like everything in life. Practice makes perfect.
7 steps to being a better kisser
- Moisturise your lips
Nobody likes a dry, crackling lip. They are painful to have and unattractive to kiss. Use a lip balm daily to reduce the cracks in your lips. Lip balms are perfect for getting your lips soft, smooth and kissable.
2. Check your breath beforehand.
If you know you’re going to get hot and heavy with your partner in the next hours, pop a mint in. The best way to have clear breath is to take small sips of water throughout the day to stay hydrated. Do not jump to the assumption of anything some people might have bad breath because of stomach issues. Offer a mint or ask them to drink some water first.
3. Do your research
Watch some videos. Observe how these people move their tongue and tilt their head. What are their body languages when they are making out? What are their hands doing? If you have a partner, share this video with them and watch it together. What are you not doing?
4. Communicate with your partner
If you’re with someone, share your thoughts about your make-out session. What do you think you are not doing right? What are they not doing? Be open to changes and accept that it is alright to make these mistakes. It is what you choose to do going forward from here that matters. Encourage them to share and remind them that this sharing space is a safe space for both of you to learn and not criticise each other.
After you watch the videos on how to kiss, try these technique outs. It may feel ridiculous at first but getting out of your comfort zone is the first step to greater love life. Do tell your partner what you’re doing so that they do not get the shock of their lives.
6. Practice, practice, practice
According to Malcolm Gladwell, it takes 10,000 hours of practice to master a skill. Although various other studies have disproven the 10,000 hours rule, that does not eliminate the fact that to be better at something you would have to do it over and over again. Take for an example, when I started out reviewing products 8 years ago, my reviews were all over the place. There was no bottom line as to why that review was published and why I preferred one product over another. It was a mess. 8 years later, my reviews have improved tremendously. Practice does not make perfect but practice does make better.
7. Have fun
Although there seemed to be a lot of rules when it comes to becoming a better kisser, the most important rule is for you to have fun. Aside from being a mini exercise, kissing is an activity that can help strengthen the relationship between your partner and you. It is a vulnerable moment that you both shared and should be cherished.
To be a good kisser, you have to dance with your tongue. You have to be confident and test the temperature of the water by touching the tip of their tongue gently. If they react to that in any way, move on to the next step. While doing this remember to move your lips and tilt your head. You don’t want to run out of breath or bang into their teeth while you are trying to do something so sensual. Feel free to use your hands to guide their head or explore their bodies but ensure that you have their consent first.
Be aware of the subtle body language that they are giving out to be sure that you’re on the right track. If they start to pull away, stop. If they are pushing your hands away from their private parts, do not go back there. It is only good fun if both parties agree to it. If you feel uncomfortable or if you feel that they are becoming uncomfortable, talk to them. Have good communication on what you both expect if you are confused.
Lastly, kissing is like a good play. Things started slowly at first but with the right moves and the right mood, things can skyrocket easily. Do remember that it is alright to take a break and recollect yourself.
With that, here is kissing 101. Do remember to not eat onions or garlic before you kiss.
Check out my last post where I share my experience on how my date proposed to me…naked.
Or check out my other online dating stories on IreviewUread.